Ophelia
by IluvLupin
Summary: Sirius' nights at Grimmald place just got interesting. But is there such a thing as going back for him? inspired by Shakespeare's Hamlet.


Disclaimer: Don't own anything it's all JK Rowling's except for the lady in the veil.

**Soft you now,/**

**The fair Ophelia.- Nymph, in thy orisons/**

**Be**** all my sins remembered.**

Hamlet 3.1.90-91

Shakespeare

**Ophelia**

Night descended on the dank and dirty Grimmauld Place and unseen to the rest of the world number 12. Sirius Black gazed out one of the dingy windows that no one could see from the outside, longingly. 'I wish Dumbledore would let me leave here. He can't expect me to just sit here!' he thought angrily. He had been cooped up in this house for too many months. With Voldemort back he couldn't see how Dumbledore wouldn't want him to help. Sirius _hated_ this house; he never wanted to be back here again. Kreacher slinked into the room "What do you want?" Sirius accused the elf.

"Nothing Master." Kreacher answered slipping something behind his back.

"Give it to me now Kreacher!" Sirius demanded. The old house elf handed over a grimy old jewelry box of his mother's. He looked at it for a moment before throwing it away.

Sirius began to head upstairs to feed Buckbeak the Hippogriff when the doorbell rang.

"Why'd they do that!?" he cried as his mother's portrait began screaming in the hall. Sirius ran to his mother's picture slamming the drapes closed again before yanking the front door open "How many times do I have to tell you ….." He trailed off before finishing after noticing the young woman at the door wasn't an Order member. She wore a long close fitting dress and matching jacket. Her face was partially covered by a small veil on her hat. Her hair was pulled back in twist. "Hello Sirius long time, no see." She smiled.

Sirius gasped in shock as he looked on a woman that he hadn't seen since Hogwarts. A woman that he had adored all those years ago. "What…How … did you?" he spluttered.

She walked in "Oh, Please you think I just dropped by. Dumbledore told me where to find your place. It's good to see you again Sirius." She looked at him with the veil safely removed.

'Yeah, good to see her again…' he remembered the last time he had seen her, Two days before James and Lily's death… and his arrest. He wasn't likely to forget the encounter _ever._ "You too." He whispered in return "But why are you here?"

She cocked one eyebrow slightly in an all too familiar way to him. "How 'bout you invite me in and I'll tell you."

He nodded numbly and led her downstairs to the kitchen. Sirius placed the kettle on and set out two cups.

With the tea poured, she began "I've been sent by the people I work for to reach an agreement with the Order. Dumbledore felt it'd be best to have me come here and try to work something out with you." She smiled over the rim of her steaming cup of tea at Sirius." He did, did he?" He smirked.

"I take it you're not too pleased with the Headmaster right now." She asked him with a slight half smile.

"Why does he think I need to be caged up in this house like this!? I should be out there helping not locked up in this hell!" he shouted knocking over his chair and stomping around the room.

"Fell better now?" she asked with mock politeness when he was finished.

Sirius took a deep breath before answering "Yes."

She patted the seat beside her "Come sit back down." Sirius tromped back over and plopped himself down. 'I know you're frustrated, I would be too but now you'll be doing something. He asked for you to do the negotiations with me, not anyone else. Se he does think that you can take care of yourself. Come now I haven't seen you in years. I'd like to reacquaint myself with you."

They spent the next hour and a half talking about this and that, old friends, good times but never about Azkaban. Sirius' tea had grown cold but he didn't care it was wonderful to be back around her. He had been enamored with her all through Hogwarts but she had had a boyfriend, and their time after… had been rudely cut short by Wormtail.

She gazed at him intently "Sirius tell me about Azkaban. It you want to that is.' She added quickly.

He stared at the table for a long while, hoping to avoid the question and… the answer. He had not told anyone, not even Remus, about the horrors of the prison. "No, no it's alright." He said slowly not taking his eyes off the table. "It was horrible. Never in my life have I been so lost, so miserable, so wishing for death. I don't know how I stayed sane. Maybe I'm not. Can I be? Can I still be sane after all this? Could anyone?" he questioned quietly. She placed her hand on his. "I only was able to keep it partially together by transforming when it all got too much. When... when I found out that Peter was at Hogwarts with Harry, I had to get him. I had to keep Harry safe. I didn't do it fourteen years ago but damned if I was just going to stand there and let him hurt Harry again." Sirius finally looked up at her. "I'm still not sure how I got out. Those twelve years are a blank to me. I lost those years; I'll never get them back! When I was in there, it… was like they took a part of my soul too. I'm sorry but I'm not the same kid you knew at Hogwarts."

She gave him a small sad smile "Well I'm not the same girl you knew either. Everyone changes, Sirius and not always for the better. We've had our hard knocks but we've come out in one piece, more or less. Don't fear living the life you've just been given back. You have a whole new future ahead of you. Unlike me I lost my hope at a second chance or my first." She said staring into his blue eyes. He stared back. They held like this for Sirius didn't know long, but the only change was they started kissing.

He felt her warm soft lips against his. Her hand pressed against his thigh to stop herself from falling off her chair. He reached out and wrapped his arm around her waist. They began to kiss more deeply, her other hand slipped around his neck, his hand rested on the small of her back. Sirius ran his hand up her back. She caressed his cheek, neck and shoulder. They broke apart after a few moments. Sirius sat with his face only inches away from hers. "I'm sorry. I… I don't know how that happened. I shouldn't've. I'm sorry…"

She placed her hand on his mouth. "It's alright. You didn't overstep your bounds. It was nice."

He smiled at her "It was nice."

She looked over at her watch "I should go. It's getting late." She stood up and turned to leave.

Sirius followed her up "Do you really have to go?" he asked as the reached the front door.

"I really should. There's lots of work for me to do back home." He grabbed her wrist lightly "Stay, stay with me for a while. I could really use the company."

She had her back pressed against the door with her hand on the doorknob. "I really shouldn't, I have a ton of work…"

Sirius smiled "I know you said that before." She grabbed her hat and gloves from beside the door, meticulously replacing them on herself. "I don't believe you're going to leave." He chuckled deeply. He leaned in closer to her. Sirius could smell her perfume and feel her breath against his neck. He brushed his lips against her neck, winding his kisses up along her cheek. "Please." He kissed her lips "Stay." He kissed her again. She began to kiss back "OK." She whispered quietly into his hair. Sirius pulled her hat back off, then her jacket, then her gloves as the pair, still kissing made their way to the stairs. Halfway up the first flight, he pressed her back against the wall next to the stuffed elf heads. She gave a soft moan as he pressed against her, running his hands down her to her hips. She ran her hand through his long ebony hair. Her tongue flick over his lips. Sirius slipped his tongue into her mouth running it along the inside. She pulled him back up the stairs closer and closer to the third floor and his bed.

"This is too good. It must be a dream. I must be dreaming." He whispered to himself as he followed her up the second and finial flight of stairs. She turned back around and smiled seductively at him. Sirius was pushed back against the bedroom door. As he tried to open the door with his one hand his other fumbled with the zipper of her dress. The doorknob turned and the door swung open causing the two to fall into the room. They stumbled in, she kick off her heels, Sirius tugged off his robes. She pulled off her unzipped dress and tossed it next to his shedded robes. She laid down on the huge four –poster bed and pulled Sirius down on top of her. He kissed her teasing her mouth open with his tongue. She gripped his shoulders. Sirius ran his hands down her naked body snapping off her bra. He rubbed her breast, pressed against her nipples roughly, causing them to harden. Her hands ran down his back, resting on his ass. She moaned slightly as Sirius moved his kisses down her body and began to on the skin of her collar bone. She slid his hands down towards her panties. Understanding the meaning of this Sirius pulled off without stopping his caresses. She proceeded to pull off his underwear. He let a soft moan escape his lips as he moved down her body. She slid her hands gently up the insides of his thighs. Her lips moved slowly down his body mirroring his actions. Sirius smiled against her stomach and slid his hands up her thighs. She bucked her hips towards him as he rubbed his hand along her core. "Don't you dare Sirius Black," She whispered softly, looking at him through her lashes when he continued to tease her. "Or else I just might have to play dirty." She said playfully bringing her knee to brush against his arousal causing Sirius to moan louder.

"Fuck this!" He growled looking down at her face mere inches from his, his breathing already harsh. Sirius pushed her raised leg away, spreading her thighs. "Are you sure?" he asked before being silenced by her passionate kiss and her nails being dragged down his back. Her body pressed up against his when he first entered her. Sirius pulled out and back in slowly repeating the action and setting a rhythm. As the rhythm sped up she wrapped her arms around his shoulders dragging her nails down his flesh, her leg rubbed against his. A moan escaped her lips as Sirius began to suck on her neck. They both could feel the end coming near as Sirius sped up even faster, pumping furiously to bring them to climax. The heat was intense needing to be released. Her body suddenly tensed and she threw back her head and moaned as she came hard around him. Sirius quickly followed, calling her name softly as he exploded inside her. Panting and out of breath the two smiled blissfully at each other.

"Better than the last." She whispered in his ear as he collapsed beside her. He laid his head down on her chest letting sleep soon envelop him.

Sirius woke some time later alone in the bed. "A dream. Just a dream." He grunted wiping his eyes.

She walked out of the bathroom in a towel, her hair dripping wet. She smiled when she saw that he was awake. Throwing the towel onto the floor with their discarded clothes, she once again joined him in bed. Her hair dropped water onto his bare chest. "Have a good sleep?" she asked coyly.

"Yes, very much, but I think I like this better." Sirius said placing his hands on her hips. She brushed her lips across his nose before bringing them down on his lips. He looked up at her sadly. 'How I wish that we hadn't been given a chance back then, more than the one night…' he thought, the look in her eyes said as much.

"What's wrong? Don't tell me this was all for nothing" she said concerned by his sudden change.

He shook his head still gently holding her waist "No it's…just… I don't know." Sirius let out an aspirated sigh. He pushed himself up. "I don't know anymore. What I want. Where I belong. Who I am. What I am. I look in the mirror and don't recognize the face I see. I just don't know anything. I hope you understand. I'm not sure if there's any me left in me. I can't go back to being me."

She cupped his cheek and pulled his face towards her "We all have changed like I said. Do you really think I came here expecting to find the same kid I knew in school. No because I know what you've been through. I've been through hell. Not as long as you, but a far worse hell than you can imagine. I'm not the same girl you knew. I've lost friends, seen them die but worst I've had had to witness them fall, to be lost completely in the darkness. It's worst than death because if their dead their gone, this way I have see what's been lost every minute of every day for eternity." She shook her head to fight back the tears.

Sirius wrapped his arms around her protectively "Shhh, it's alright, it'll all be alright." He comforted, not wholly believing himself.

"Maybe this is why Dumbledore did this. Maybe he saw we needed something or someone to help us heal." She said a few moments later, resting her head on his shoulder.

He kissed the top of her head "Maybe, maybe."

She then looked up at him with a malicious grin "That or he thought you desperately needed to get laid." He gaped and pushed her over but she held onto him pulling on top. "Well you _have_ been imprisoned for 12 years. And have been on the run for 2 more. You've gone close to 15 years. I didn't think a guy _could_ do that." She smirked as Sirius' hands traveled along her naked body once again.

"Oh a little cocky I see still. Well how's about making up for lost time." She silenced him with a kiss.

Sirius hummed tunelessly to himself as he entered the kitchen. He had left her upstairs asleep while he fetched some lunch. 'Last night was wonderful. Maybe she was right; maybe I _did_ need to get laid.' He thought ruefully.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" Asked Remus-who until then hadn't been noticed by his friend- looking at the stupid grin on his face.

Sirius grin got even wider looking at his friend "Ah, I'm in heaven! I never thought that she would be mine even after… but she's here again!" he laughed sillyly.

Remus was confused "She who?…Oh her. But Sirius she's….dead. She died two years after your arrest, car crash absurdly enough. There's no one else here, you were alone when I arrived." Remus said beginning to worry for his friend.

Sirius collapsed into a chair 'No,' he thought 'she was here! Maybe it really was just a dream.' He buried his head into his hands and cried.

"If it helps at all she was the only one who insisted that you were innocent right up to the end. Never could really understand myself. She loved you Sirius. Maybe she was saying good bye and giving you a chance to mend. You really needed it buddy. Come on I'll make you lunch." Remus said placing a hand on his shoulder. Sitting on the table was atea cup, a tea cup with lipstick on the rim.

**Hold off the earth awhile,/**

**Till I have caught her once more in mine arms.******

Hamlet 5.1.239-240

Shakespeare


End file.
